Then

It's amazing how we looked so happy in these photos. It was really genuine happiness, and that was mostly what we were feeling then. I miss that.

I hope after all these are over, prelims, Os and personal problems, we'll be as happy again. I miss the way we played, laughed, and went crazy.

Beats

Went to my malay ex-neighbour's house to celebrate Hari Raya today. Our families used to be really close and I remember me and my brother running over to their house all the time when I was little to play with their sons and their goddaughter. I remember being very close to their son who's the same age :)

But times are different since we moved away. We only see them once a year now. I still remember our beautiful mansion être. Theirs is perfectly decorated to the last detail man I absolutely love their English-style decorations and they travel the world in such style, evident in all their photo displays, particularly Aussie and Europe. Stonehenge, venice, Paris, Sydney, Canberra, scotland, London, quaint unheard of towns, Old Trafford omg they've been everywhere. And all self drive. That's the coolest travel ever when I grow up I am going to travel exactly like them. And decorate my house like theirs too haha.

Anyway, I got my old childhood friend to show me his skill on his electric drum set, and he's seriously damn good. Then I got him to teach me some beats haha it was damn fun I love it. Though I really think I should've picked up faster. Played to Just The Way You Are and man The feeling of playing it is indescribable, like even better than the piano. But maybe it's cus I've been on the piano/keyboard for nearly 10years so maybe it's getting more boring. BUT NO IT'S EVEN BETTER THAN PLAYING THE GUITAR, like by a 100x. I am determined to pick it up after Os, or I should just go to his house more often and get him to teach me haha. Aiya, shouldn't have more away if I continued running to his house everyday I might be as good as him hahaha.

Had swimming after that, feeling pretty good about it :) I thank God for a great day.

Exhausted

I am exhausted. I am frustrated. I am very very very very very tired.

Wasting my tears once was enough. Now again. I don't want to be affected anymore. Mummy says to leave you be too. I'm so thankful i told her right from the start. It made things so much easier to explain when she saw me in that state when i was with the dancers. And they were so cute haha trying to cover up saying it was because chan was leaving/tears of joy or something. They didn't have to she knows.

So that's it. I'm done. With you. To think I even had a glimmer of hope when YOU asked to talk to me.

I'm really so tired.


P.s I'm sorry Chan. I hope you'll lead a beautiful like in the UK and I wish you all the best!

Tired

So tired. Of everything and for everybody.

It's okay guys we'll all pull through.

Summer paradise

One day, I will live out my dreams of having the craziest summer by a pristine beach. I will cliff dive, snorkel, explore caves, banana boat, parasail, deep sea dive, sip a cocktail while I lay on a hammock and watch the sun set, dip dye my hair, wear all things boho, have a summer romance, shop the beach streetside stores in a bikini and eat delectable food. Ok actually I had a similar experience in Krabi a few years back but it wasn't as crazy and wild as I want it to be now :) I want to go crazy and fly at my favorite place on earth. One day, I will.

Forever and Always

This song is stuck on replay.

I am going to have this played at my wedding haha.





Just mass downloaded a whole lot of songs, many of which are old and I'm very happy :) I haven't converted them to fit into my ipod yet though that's gonna be a whole lot of work tomorrow. Going to have extra amath help at kap tomorrow hope I can wake up on time.

Great Day

Had Amath tuition in the morning. Ever since I've started, I've been feeling really good that my Saturday mornings have finally become productive. If not for this every sat I'd sleep till 2pm and then get frustrated at myself. I really hope all this effort I'm putting in will pay off. I will continue to work very hard even though I dread it. Daddy told me "3 more months. Then, you can fly" haha I don't know why it sounds funny coming from him.

Watched Bourne Legacy with my brother, Jonathan and Abigail today :) not really my kind of movie but something Jonathan would really enjoy haha. But the action was great though, just a little confusing cus I didn't catch the first few installments. Had dinner with the rest of my family at White Dog Cafe after that and I had a Chicken Quesadilla and shared a brownie Sundae with my brother it was so good.

When we went to the toilet, the queue was like damn long so we asked grandma to use the handicap toilet, which I feel is quite reasonable since she's old and has difficulty walking and stuff, but when she tried to go in these 3 fit and healthy middle aged women told her to queue behind them. Lol me and my aunt were like, seriously? What's the matter with some people it's bad enough you're healthy and using the handicap toilet, you ask my old grandma who has difficulty walking to queue behind you. Don't get how some people have no sense of shame. Had a mind to tell them off but then I remembered mommy telling me the importance of being a peacemaker and the verse "be quick to listen, slow to anger", "anger resides in the laps of fools". I still detest such behavior though.

Anyhow, today was a good day out with my family :) time to hit the Sacks!

Confused

Had English Olvl oral yesterday and I was so glad when they asked a conversation question nearly exactly the same as my prelim. It's really God's favor I thank Him for that, and the fact that all of us prayed together in the morning and before the exam just gave me peace and confidence. Thank you. I think I did well, except I accidentally let the word 'pork' slip out of my mouth and one examiner was Malay. I was so afraid to appear insensitive but Ms Chng said it was fine so I believe her :) oh and Bingming and Yokekee are the most irritating guys on earth. But while we were waiting, I was glad the situation turned around and we had a great talk with occasional spasms of laughter while waiting for our turns together with Arne and Ningshen. I'm really happy with my performance! Confidence is really so important, and I'm learning to master it every step of the way :) not just for oral but in everything that I do.



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I don't even know if this is worth saving anymore. I don't even know whether or not i treasure this. It's so much better to just leave you be. No more false hopes, and I feel so much less burdened. But still, I feel unrest and disturbed at times, but it's all right. This is so much better than all the bullshit we were put through before. We're tired and we don't deserve to be hurt. Times and times of trying, maybe enough is enough.

Past weeks

The past 2-3 weeks I haven't been blogging were packed to the brim with never ending activities and good food, all of which have made me one very happy girl :)

Two Tuesdays ago I went for a great Japanese Buffet dinner at Central with the warren swimmers, and the treat was on Billy to thank us for helping out at the swim carnival! Awesome night filled with laughs, and even though the topic of smoking slightly ruined the night, I had a great time overall. Was so full after that, we walked from Central to CityHall and got Starbucks and laughed along the way. Took a cab home with Yiheng and I still owe him the money I wonder where he is now.

Then I had a second buffet the tuesday after at Melt restaurant, Mandarin Oriental to celebrate Mommy's birthday!! That's like my fav buffet restaurant; I went there during my birthday :) had a great time with my family and the food was just too good to be true. Pity the BBQ station was closed :( was feeling so guilty having eaten 2 buffets in 2 weeks. So unhealthy. But couldn't care less now I love food and I love my friends and family! Was feeling so guilty for missing night study too.. But forget it haha.

That same week we celebrated national day, and I had a great day with 403, netball and filming our dreams for the class video and all. Went to meet Ruiying, Dawn, Andy, Hulin, Yujin and Adam after that and had a semi-productive study sesh at the old macs. Met Pristine and Ariel after that for the Metamorphosis Dance concert and saw my sec3 juniors! The concert was rly touching and to be able to dance like that when you are a special needs person is really beyond me. "God loves each and every single one of us and no one is forgotten"

On friday, had lunch with mom, Azriel, Natalie and her mom and littlest sis at a Thai restaurant at rail mall. THE FOOD WAS SO GOOD I LOVE THAI FOOD. It's like my fav cuisine :) caught Brave with Natalie after that and I loved it I love Disney movies they always make me so happy. I think I'll cry when I visit Disneyland CA end of year haha it's where all my childhood fantasies lie. Had a productive study sesh at my house afterwards and that blur girl left her cookies at my house. She also raided my photo albums and found our p1 class photo haha.

Right now, it's time to focus everything back on studying. All my energy and time I am determined to pump in to achieve what I want, with God to guide me every step of the way. 2 more months, time for ENDURANCE.

Pictures are all jumbled up cus the itouch app for blogger just sucks at uploading images. But it's ok you can figure it out!